As you probably know
this blog is about my life as a mom, a pastor’s wife, and a lover of cuss words
(which incidentally doesn’t mesh well with the whole “pastor’s wife” vibe).
That is not to say that I am not more than that. I am me, my own independent
woman, in fact, I prefer to tell people the pastor is Kellie’s husband and also
we happen to have children. But my life is what it is; I am a full-time,
stay-at-home parent, a part time librarian, an aspiring author, and also I blog…
when I remember. So I write about what
is in front of me. Generally that means
stories about my kids and their hijinks.
For example…
Sunday as I was
frantically getting dressed to be the pastor’s wife, I heard loud mumbling on
the other side of my door, and here’s what happened:
Me: No. Stop whatever
you are doing DO NOT come in. I am not dressed.
Minion #3: (BURSTING
into my room) Mommy, I need to tell you (GASP)
Mommy! You is not DRESSED!
Me: (trying to hold up
my towel and push him out the door) Right, as I said. Now. Go.
M3: But Mommy that’s inppropriate
! I don’t believe this Mommy! You is all the way
NAKED!
Me: because this is my
room and I am getting (shut door) dressed!
2 minutes later
BURST
M3: Mommy I can’t
believe dis! You is still NAKED! YOU NEED GET DRESSED
RIGHT NOW!
I closed the door
M3: (yelling from the
other side) BUT MOMMY I HAVE TO TELL YOU SOMEFING
IMPORTANT!!
I opened the door a
crack
M3: Ollie is having a
nap.
(At that he turned and walked away
throwing over his shoulder)
Now get dressed please mommy!
And the lesson learned
from this story? I need a lock on my bedroom door.
So there you go a cute
story about one of my minions, but not actually the reason for this particular
blog post.
The reason for this post
is the following….
I’m fat. (Yes, there we
go. Right to the heart of it.)
I have been fat for most
of my adult life, my weight has fluctuated and pregnancy has taken its toll
more than once. I have tried fad diets, long tested diets, juicing, and simply
counting calories. I enjoy exercise when my body cooperates. I lost the genetic
lottery when it comes to health and metabolism.
That is not an excuse, simply a piece of the puzzle. I’m closing in on
40 (holy shit FORTY) and I already feel like my body is giving out. I am on the
road to heart disease, diabetes, and a whole host of other weight related
issues. I know that weight has a lot to do with my crazy back pain and my new
found tennis knee (I call it that because it sounds way better than I’m fat and
my knee hurts). My body chemistry is out of whack and I am tired all of the
time. Granted having three kids, a busy husband, and being a stay-at-home mom
with a job contributes to the tiredness. I can’t keep up with my kids or my
life.
I’m done.
This is not the me I
want to be anymore.
I am ready for a change.
I have done weight watchers.
I have done South Beach. I have juiced. I have tried many, many other weight
loss techniques. Some of them have worked a little, most not at all. I have had
a long inward dialogue about weight loss surgery for years. Starting when the
mom of a dear friend from college was down and out for over a year due to
complications from a bariatric surgery gone wrong. I have gone back and forth
in my mind about whether or not it is a justifiable option. I have allowed
other’s opinions to cloud my own viewpoint of the overall effectiveness for
such surgeries and what people’s motivation may be to have it done. I have sat
and listened while people that I love say terrible things about other’s weight
behind their back and then continue to chastise the same people when they
decided to have surgery to help with weight loss. When I was a “smaller” fat
person I allowed myself to fall into the belief that if I simply ate less and
exercised the weight would come off no problem. Problem, as previously
mentioned I have several genetic roadblocks including but not limited to
P.C.O.S. that makes losing weight a whole different kind of battle for me than
for some others. My husband, for example can stop drinking sweet tea, switch to
black coffee, eat less dessert and is down two pants sizes within a month (Is
it o.k. to hate your spouse a little…I’m asking for a friend?)
So with all of this
floating around in my noggin for a few, well, years I came to the decision that
I want weight loss surgery. (I know, big shocker right? It’s not like I was
leading up to that or anything.) Actually, no, I should rephrase that…I have
thought, and prayed, and researched and come to the conclusion that weight loss
surgery is the best option for me, for my family, for my life. And because I am already a “mom blogger” of
sorts and an aspiring author, what the hell, I am going to blog about my
journey. Maybe it will help someone else find the courage to make a big
decision in their life, or maybe I will be able to connect with others having
similar experiences, or maybe, my mom and my aunts will read this to keep track
of my progress and scoff at my cussing.
I will write about the
crap moments and the awesome moments, a little more about how I got here, and
whatever else may pop into my head.
Whether I get 1 or 1,000
readers my goal is the same, to share and have an open dialogue with others.
Please feel free to comment or message me any thoughts or questions you may
have, even if just to say “hey dumb ass you use way too many commas, your grammar
is garbage!”
----I wrote the above
blog post a few weeks ago with the intention of starting a separate blog, this
blog being more about my life as a mom and all. But I realized that this is
part of my life as a mom. This is an adventure that we as a family are going on
together. There are going to be days when I am pissed and over everything and
will need to blog about why my kids think that I am the absolute worst and
other days when they will be the absolute worst and even other days when I will
want to write about how they inspire me. So I have decided to write about this
voyage on my “mom blog” because one of the biggest factors in my life is my
kid’s whether I am having surgery and changing my entire life or not. Please read, share and engage. I am open to
questions and discussion, also encouragement! The surgery is not the end
result; it is the beginning of everything.
The surgery is scheduled
for Mon. 8/28. I began my “liquid diet” yesterday. I am sure I will have
another post by the end of the week; only that one might be full of expletives
and a long explanation about why my family is terrible because they had the
nerve to eat breakfast.
So…here
I go….
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