A few months ago #3 turned 2 and ½ . This is not something
that we generally celebrate or (if I’m being honest) even pay attention to. ½ birthdays in our home usually pass without anyone realizing at all, but not this ½ birthday.
This ½ birthday was special, wonderful, I would even say monumental! This ½ birthday
marked the age requirement for #3 to start pre-school at our church!!! Don’t get me wrong, I love being a stay at
home mom and I love the time that I am able to spend with my kids but a woman’s
gotta breath. When I told a friend of mine (also a stay at home mom with young
kids) about this fantastic news, I listed the reasons I was excited and that it
was in fact essential for him to go to pre-school a few days a week. These
reasons mostly revolved around the fact that we are moving soon i.e. I can pack
without “help”, I can throw stuff away without later finding it stuffed into
the dishwasher part of the play kitchen, or, the actual dishwasher, I can go to
doctor’s appointments without an entourage, etc... Her response? Yeah, but also,
you can go “potty all by yourself”…heaven! It’s funny the moments that parents
look to as things to strive for and look forward to, and “going potty by myself”
is absolutely on my list.
Here are a few bathroom stories that have recently taken
place in my home…
#3 is a bit of a mama’s boy which simultaneously gives me
major joy and unbelievable frustration, especially when I am trying to go to
the bathroom because he ALWAYS KNOWS. I can set him up with my phone and the TV. and a Pokemon card of his brothers that would
normally be off limits and walk in and out of the room 2 or 3 times without him
noticing but the second I sit down
on the toilet, there it is his little smiling face right in my face, often
times with his elbows resting on my knees and his chin resting in his hands.
“What you doing Mommy”
“Going potty.”
“Oh. Ok. I need go potty too. Move please” (tries to push me
off the toilet…we haven’t even begun to potty train)
Or
“Hi Mommy. You go potty?”
“Yes. May I be alone please?”
“Oh, um, No Mommy, I no like that”
Or
“Mommy go poop? Shoo-wee”
“Yes, so, can I do that myself?”
“Oh. Ok. I got it!” Walks out of the bathroom into the bedroom,
closes the bedroom door in his brother’s face “Mommy be byself”. Walks into the
bathroom and closes and locks that door, “Ok mommy, you hold me now” tries to
climb into my lap.
#2 and I seem to have an ongoing conversation about me not
having a penis. This is a fact that he
simply finds shocking. Anytime he brings it up and I explain yet again that I
do not have one his reaction always includes the phrase “OH NO!” I get the
standard question of “How do you pee?” often. But I have also heard “Then what
do you play with?” And “Then howcome you wear underwear?” He has also informed
me “You know Mommy, I’m pretty sure Jesus had a penis” (That’s my little
preacher’s kid)
Most recently, on Mother’s Day interestingly enough, this
conversation took place…
I took him into the Women’s bathroom with me, something that
I don’t usually do because we are trying to give him the independence of going
by himself, but the restaurant was crowded and the bathrooms were by the
kitchen. I was concerned that when he was finished he might bolt out of the
bathroom and right into a server with a tray full of food. So there I was alone
in my stall about to pull my pants up and whose head should pop up under the
stall door? My 4 year old of course. As we are washing our hands he say:
“So. You really do just
have a jine, huh?”
“What?”
“You really DON’T have a penis. There just nothing there,
just a jine.”
“Oh. Well, there is SOMETHING there , I have a vagina. And
you have a penis that’s just the way it is. And please don’t stick your head
under bathroom doors anymore”
“Oh, don’t worry (blows out a big sigh) I. Won’t.” ……mostly
to himself “A gina, (tisk) poor Mommy”
#1 Is less concerned about being with me or what parts I
have that are different than his. My
oldest child is just a barger, with one thing on his mind, whatever it is that
is on his mind in that moment…
“Um, Mommy?”
“Dude, do you see what I am doing?”
“huh?”
“I’m sitting on the toilet, what do you think is happening right now?”
“Oh. Right, Ok, Mommy….(and then he goes on to ask whatever
question or make whatever statement he came in for)”
“OUT!”
I love my boys. But my wise wonderful friend was absolutely
right, #3 going to preschool means I get to “go potty all by myself” And those
moments when he is there and I am here and I have to go, well, I’m not gonna
lie, they are awesome!
