It would seem my children are very diplomatic and organized
because based on the day I have had and the way that they have been behaving
the only logical explanation I can come up with is that they banned together,
took a vote, and made the unanimous decision that today is…wait for it….
(The) Official Whine
About Absolutely Freaking Everything Day or O.W.A.A.F.E. Day (you know, to
simplify things)
It started at 3 a.m. (yes you read that correctly) when the
2 year old came stumbling into my room whining my name like he had had one too many (I
should toss in here that Husband has been out of town for going on 7 days so I
am alone in this and the children are fully aware of my growing vulnerability).
He then spent the next 2ish hours rolling around in my bed making whiney
noises. I gave him water, changed his diaper, checked his vitals, he had “Teddy
Bear”, he was fine. There were moments when he asked to go back to his bed but
when I took him he screamed like a zombie with a hormone imbalance and as he shares
a room with the other two I couldn’t just leave him.
He fell asleep around 5. So naturally the oldest woke up 30
mins. earlier than usual and was at my bedside at 6:30. I quickly told him “Don’t
wake your brother. Leave this place.
Make yourself cereal. Read a book. Play
D.S. I don’t care. Let your brothers sleep. Give me my last 30 mins.”
It should be known here that he is not normally allowed to
play video games at all in the morning and the TV only goes on after everyone
is dressed and ready for the day and then it is only PBS Kids.
When I got up as quietly as I could so that the minion next
to me would stay asleep I went in to
find #1 watching Pokemon, instead of turning it off which is what I would
normally do I went completely against my nature. I paused it and said “OK
Buddy, here’s what we’re going to do. If you can eat breakfast, brush your
teeth and get dressed quickly this morning I will let you finish watching
Pokemon before school. (big smile) But
you have to be all the way ready for school before we turn it back on.” And the
big smile turned into a giant schlumping blob of whiney 8 year old right before
my eyes. I ignored this and asked him “Do you want cereal or oatmeal for
breakfast?” This is the same question I ask every morning. Today he sat up
(just a little) and looked at me as though my question had shocked him to his
very soul. His answer?
“I cannot believe you could even ask me that right now.”
Yup he was in full-on 13 year old mode. FANTASTIC. Meanwhile, I am so tired I had been trying to
put my robe on unsuccessfully for 5 mins. (I finally gave up and decided it was
broken)
So that is a small sampling of minion # 1’s whining for
today. So far. Until he comes home.
Number 2 has been a little more subtle he’s in a great mood
one minute and then a whine machine the next.
And he can spread it so thick you would think he powers the t.v. with
the energy his whining produces, he is a true master. First He didn’t want his
brother to sit near him. Then he didn’t want his brother to sit so far away. A
little later he needed a purple marker but not “That purple a different purple,
why isn’t ANYTHING EVER FAIR?” And for lunch all he could talk about was PB&J
and blueberries so that’s what he got. After he finished his sandwich he whined
because “I just don’t understand these blueberries”.
As for # 3 today has just been one big constant whine. He
whined because he wanted sparkling water in his sippy cup and then when I gave
in and gave it to him he whined because it squirted him the eye. Of course if I
am being totally honest that is why I gave in and gave it to him, you know,
natural consequences and all that. He whined because he wanted to listen to
music on the Roku so I put it on and his favorite song was playing on Pandora
(Shake it Off, don’t judge) This did not please the minion prince, he turned it
off and then when the song went away he whined that he wanted to song back. He whined because he wanted to go outside but
did not want to wear pants. And then he whined later when I took the pants off
for nap. Everything in his day causes this child to whine.
I know that someday I will look back on my kid’s younger
years with a romanticized idea of their childhood and long for them to be small
again. But not this day. This day is being blogged about so that my future self
can read it, take a deep breath and then go take a nap because I’ll be damned
if the 2 year old will not sleep this afternoon even though we all know that is
all he really needs and if he doesn’t nap, I don’t nap.
In the meantime I will just settle for telling myself that they
planned this and be proud that they can find a cause and commit to it.
