Sometimes my life could be an episode of Malcolm in the
Middle…
As lunch was coming to an untimely and messy end I turned to
Minion #1 and said “I am going to say words, I want you to hear MY words before
you say YOUR own words. IF you let me finish my words I have no doubt that you
will be pleasantly surprised. O.K.?”
What he heard was “I am going to say something terrible that
you are not going to like. Whatever you do, do NOT allow me to finish and by
all means interrupt me as soon as you hear the word Walmart”
So, following my first statement, our conversation went a
little something like this…
“O.k. Mommy.”
“I have to go to Walmart..”
“aaaawwwwww idon’twannnagotowalmart…”
“O.k. here is the part where you Let. Me. Finish.
IhavetogotoWalmart. Wait. Butyoudon’thavetogo.”
“What do I have to do for you instead?”
(Smart boy)
“Well, I was thinking…”
“I could clean the living room!”
“Yes. You will clean the living room. Now let me finish. Your
room needs…”
“aaaaaawwwwwww idon’twannacleanmyroom! I want to play
Wiiiiiiiiiiiiiii”
“Right, so, here is what I was thinking. You have been very
helpful and mature lately” (obviously I was not counting this conversation) “so
if you clean the living room now, and
promise that as soon as I get home you will turn off the Wii without complaint
and clean your room…you can play Wii the whole time we are gone.”
“O.K. MOMMY! Sounds great! I’m getting right on that! Here,
let me take your bowl to the sink. Want me to help load the dishwasher?”
It could only go downhill from there.
The little minions and I loaded up and went to Walmart
which, as always, took longer than any human could possibly imagine. And of
course, I did not accomplish the task of buying #2 a backpack which was the
main goal of the trip. But while we were there I was nice enough to call #1 and
describe a few shirts to him so that I could buy him a 1st day of
school shirt as I had promised.
Then there was an incident with #2 and an extremely haughty
overly concerned shopper that is clearly a better parent than I am, but that is
a story for another blog post.
Just before we left the parking lot I called #1 and gave him
a heads up that we were on our way home and reminded him of our deal.
“O.k. Mommy.”
As soon as we walked in the door I got “I’m in the middle of
a level, please can’t I just finish it? Gawd!”
“Yes, finish that
level.”
10 minutes later, “Hey, buddy, shouldn’t that level be over by now?”
I can always
count on #2 to rat the other two out, “He died on that level two times, he’s
playing it again”
ERUPTION from #1
So I walked over, turned the t.v. off and pointed up the
stairs.
Oh…..the……freaking……drama…..
Went…on…for…evvvvver….
The phrases “You don’t understand me.” “Why do you hate me.” And “Nothing good ever
happens to me” were a few of my favorites. And he did turn to his brother at
one point and screamed “YOU’RE NOT THE BOSS OF ME!!!”
I tried to talk to him and throw a little reason his way. I
reminded him that he did NOT have to go shopping, that I bought him the exact
shirt that he wanted, that he was supposed to clean the living room and there
were pillows everywhere when I got home, but none of this mattered. What did
matter? “IT’S LIKE YOU DON’T EVEN CARE ABOUT MY NEEDS!”
So, he is now upstairs for the rest of the day and I am
downstairs with the t.v. turned up louder than I usually allow so that he can
hear me playing the Wii.
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| Sometimes a Mom has to have a little old school fun to drive a point home. |
