My life's about to flip-turn upside down

As you probably know this blog is about my life as a mom, a pastor’s wife, and a lover of cuss words (which incidentally doesn’t mesh well with the whole “pastor’s wife” vibe). That is not to say that I am not more than that. I am me, my own independent woman, in fact, I prefer to tell people the pastor is Kellie’s husband and also we happen to have children. But my life is what it is; I am a full-time, stay-at-home parent, a part time librarian, an aspiring author, and also I blog… when I remember.  So I write about what is in front of me.  Generally that means stories about my kids and their hijinks.

For example…

Sunday as I was frantically getting dressed to be the pastor’s wife, I heard loud mumbling on the other side of my door, and here’s what happened:

Me: No. Stop whatever you are doing DO NOT come in. I am not dressed.

Minion #3: (BURSTING into my room) Mommy, I need to tell you (GASP)

                    Mommy! You is not DRESSED!

Me: (trying to hold up my towel and push him out the door) Right, as I said. Now. Go.

M3: But Mommy that’s inppropriate ! I don’t believe this Mommy! You is all the way

        NAKED!

Me: because this is my room and I am getting (shut door) dressed!       

2 minutes later

BURST

M3: Mommy I can’t believe dis! You is still NAKED! YOU NEED GET DRESSED

        RIGHT NOW!

I closed the door

M3: (yelling from the other side) BUT MOMMY I HAVE TO TELL YOU SOMEFING

            IMPORTANT!!

I opened the door a crack

M3: Ollie is having a nap.

        (At that he turned and walked away throwing over his shoulder)

         Now get dressed please mommy!

    

And the lesson learned from this story? I need a lock on my bedroom door.

So there you go a cute story about one of my minions, but not actually the reason for this particular blog post.

The reason for this post is the following….

Today I begin a journey. No.

My life is about to begin anew. Nope.

I’m fat. (Yes, there we go. Right to the heart of it.)

I have been fat for most of my adult life, my weight has fluctuated and pregnancy has taken its toll more than once. I have tried fad diets, long tested diets, juicing, and simply counting calories. I enjoy exercise when my body cooperates. I lost the genetic lottery when it comes to health and metabolism.  That is not an excuse, simply a piece of the puzzle. I’m closing in on 40 (holy shit FORTY) and I already feel like my body is giving out. I am on the road to heart disease, diabetes, and a whole host of other weight related issues. I know that weight has a lot to do with my crazy back pain and my new found tennis knee (I call it that because it sounds way better than I’m fat and my knee hurts). My body chemistry is out of whack and I am tired all of the time. Granted having three kids, a busy husband, and being a stay-at-home mom with a job contributes to the tiredness. I can’t keep up with my kids or my life.

I’m done.

This is not the me I want to be anymore.

I am ready for a change.

I have done weight watchers. I have done South Beach. I have juiced. I have tried many, many other weight loss techniques. Some of them have worked a little, most not at all. I have had a long inward dialogue about weight loss surgery for years. Starting when the mom of a dear friend from college was down and out for over a year due to complications from a bariatric surgery gone wrong. I have gone back and forth in my mind about whether or not it is a justifiable option. I have allowed other’s opinions to cloud my own viewpoint of the overall effectiveness for such surgeries and what people’s motivation may be to have it done. I have sat and listened while people that I love say terrible things about other’s weight behind their back and then continue to chastise the same people when they decided to have surgery to help with weight loss. When I was a “smaller” fat person I allowed myself to fall into the belief that if I simply ate less and exercised the weight would come off no problem. Problem, as previously mentioned I have several genetic roadblocks including but not limited to P.C.O.S. that makes losing weight a whole different kind of battle for me than for some others. My husband, for example can stop drinking sweet tea, switch to black coffee, eat less dessert and is down two pants sizes within a month (Is it o.k. to hate your spouse a little…I’m asking for a friend?)

So with all of this floating around in my noggin for a few, well, years I came to the decision that I want weight loss surgery. (I know, big shocker right? It’s not like I was leading up to that or anything.) Actually, no, I should rephrase that…I have thought, and prayed, and researched and come to the conclusion that weight loss surgery is the best option for me, for my family, for my life.  And because I am already a “mom blogger” of sorts and an aspiring author, what the hell, I am going to blog about my journey. Maybe it will help someone else find the courage to make a big decision in their life, or maybe I will be able to connect with others having similar experiences, or maybe, my mom and my aunts will read this to keep track of my progress and scoff at my cussing.

I will write about the crap moments and the awesome moments, a little more about how I got here, and whatever else may pop into my head.

Whether I get 1 or 1,000 readers my goal is the same, to share and have an open dialogue with others. Please feel free to comment or message me any thoughts or questions you may have, even if just to say “hey dumb ass you use way too many commas, your grammar is garbage!”

----I wrote the above blog post a few weeks ago with the intention of starting a separate blog, this blog being more about my life as a mom and all. But I realized that this is part of my life as a mom. This is an adventure that we as a family are going on together. There are going to be days when I am pissed and over everything and will need to blog about why my kids think that I am the absolute worst and other days when they will be the absolute worst and even other days when I will want to write about how they inspire me. So I have decided to write about this voyage on my “mom blog” because one of the biggest factors in my life is my kid’s whether I am having surgery and changing my entire life or not.  Please read, share and engage. I am open to questions and discussion, also encouragement! The surgery is not the end result; it is the beginning of everything.

The surgery is scheduled for Mon. 8/28. I began my “liquid diet” yesterday. I am sure I will have another post by the end of the week; only that one might be full of expletives and a long explanation about why my family is terrible because they had the nerve to eat breakfast.

So…here I go….

 

Before